I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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