My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
