Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
