Dual....:-)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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