I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Drunk is not a location!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
