I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
