Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
