I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
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