Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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