you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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