just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
