doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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