jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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