Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Come see our sink grown plant.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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