He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
