you're like a bully in the Christmas story
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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