Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Small penises have feelings too.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize