and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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