We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
