He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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