How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
