If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
