I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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