I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
