You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
