I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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