I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
