I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This baby is an asshole
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
