Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
