He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
