Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
