i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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