Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
