Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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