Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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