Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
