Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
