Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He shit in the fireplace
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
