the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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