Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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