I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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