New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize