He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
