He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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