never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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