They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
