If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We need to get me chipped asap
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
