just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
