K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
