my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
