I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
we're so committed to being not committed
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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