I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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