That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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