nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
