Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
