That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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