So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
