I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
